“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”
― Mary Oliver
My Sun is in my 12th House, perhaps the darkest house in the astrological chart. According to astrologer Chani Nicholas, the 12th house is the house of suffering (eee gads), sorrows (yikes), self-undoing (guilty), hidden life (hmmm), secrets (yeah?), and behind-the-scenes work (oooooh!).
For the first 4 decades of my life, and then some, those first few words would have had me hiding under the bed (wait, that's a 12th house place symbolically), looking to others for advice. Now that I am 51 and learning more about myself and the ways of the world, I am no longer frightened but intrigued. I am especially interested in the hidden and the secrets. (Runa, incidentally, means secret.)
Astrologer Robert Hand takes us deeper into the 12th house by saying that it's all about coming out of the dark, newly risen energies, repressed and unintegrated energies. I can attest to that in my life. Letting my Sun in Leo shine in this house has been repressed for far too long. On the plus side, the Sun is in its own sign, Leo, meaning... if embraced, it retains all its own power.
Now that I have realized some of these nuances in astrology and particularly in my own chart, I can see that my purpose is to Shine a Light in Dark Places. Of course, I have a few years of evidence of this now, with my own journey, along with my focus on the repressed areas of the feminine, of oracles, of the imagination!
For the record, just because something is, or has been, in the dark, does not mean that it is bad or evil. After all, if it weren't for the darkness, we would have no stars and a very dim moon. And for that matter, there is much evil that happens in the light of day, and it is passed off as good.
Much of what I focus on with my work was put into the shadow in the last 2000 years because there were authoritative systems that were threatened by the power inherent in them. Interestingly, the last 2,000 years are considered to be the age of Pisces, the ruler of the 12th House. I don't know how much I buy into these ages overall, (I haven't studied it much, to be honest) but it interesting that according to 3HO.org the age of Pisces is considered to be characterized by hierarchies, the illusion of separation from nature and from one another. The primary values in the Age of Pisces were money, power, and control, marked by externalization, and the search for meaning outside of ourselves.
According to astrological theory, the age of Aquarius signifies a move from individuality to brotherhood. As quantum physics theories gain traction, it would seem that the ideas of power will be shifting as well. Power will not be externalized and used to conquer and dominate but internalized and used for healing and transformation. Read Gary Zukav's Seat of the Soul for more on this "transfer" of power.
I believe that finding meaning not only within ourselves, but within our connection to everyone and everything (quantum entanglement), will come in large part from this dark room of the 12th house and people's efforts to shine light there.
Incidentally, this post has been inspired by some family members' well-meaning, albeit misguided suggestions that what I do with Tarot and oracles and Inner Wisdom is cause for my Soul's eternal destination. As an empath, I find that their criticisms affect me more deeply than I should allow. Posting this is a form of healing for me, a way of shining light on my own way. Thank you for reading!
What do you think? How has uncovering something in your life, bringing it into the light, changed you for the better, when you had previously thought it was better to keep it in the dark?